Sunday, January 30, 2011


For the past several weeks, I have been packing.
My boyfriend and I have this lovely and spacious three bedroom apartment filled with our things.
We have beautiful and expensive furniture, dozens of movies and video games, and plenty of treasured mementos.

Unfortunately, to get from North Carolina to California, we have to be able to fit all of our belongings into an 8'x4'x4' U-Haul trailer. This means we have to sell our expensive and lovely furniture (including a thousand-dollar electric keyboard that we're hoping to get $350 for), pawn off our movies and games, and see our treasured mementos dumped into a Goodwill collection bin.

This breaks my heart. I've lived here long enough to become uniquely attached to everything in this house. I've often thought I had some hoarding tendencies, but never had a problem with it. Looking through all these piles and boxes of things, though, I'm having some trouble deciding what should be kept. It hurts me to part with so much of it.
I get some consolation from the idea that my roommate is buying much of the furniture for his new place, but it still makes me sad to see it go.

I sold our bed two nights ago. It's the bed where he and I have slept in each others arms for two years, where we played video games and laughed together, and where we first made love.
Soon, the table where we ate together will be gone. Where we sat and talked as a family, sharing stories and laughing, where all the meals I cooked were served, and where all the board games were laid out.
The bookshelves that held hundreds of novels, some funny, some sad, some smutty, and some true. The desk where we wrote out our plans and dreams. The couches where we snuggled close to one another and the TV that glowed against our faces.

We are starting over in a new place, a new home. A new life in a new state. A new adventure to share.

This house is empty, and I can hear our memories echoing through its halls, shouting "Goodbye! Goodbye!"


  1. Hope you enjoy your new spot!

  2. Thanks. :)
    I've only visited once, over the holidays, and I really loved it there. I'm from Oklahoma, living in NC, and it's just so different out there. But definitely a breed of different I can get used to.

  3. I hate throwing stuff away too haha...
    I don't view "stuff" as junk I view it as remnants of my past.

  4. Exactly. Every item in this house came from somewhere, and I can look at each item and tell you where it's from. Each was acquired through a memorable event, and it feels like I'm throwing away the memories with the items.

  5. Sounds like it will be pretty tough. Still, you never know what the future will bring - you could end up having even greater memories to look back on in your new place!

  6. yea i had to move from a house to an appt when i came to cali i had to toss a lot of stuff i didn't want to toss

  7. Moving is always rough, take it easy and good luck.

  8. If I had the money I'd probably buy that keyboard. I could use one. Good luck with your new place/life.

  9. lol why dont u just rent a bigger truck?

  10. Moving sucks at first dude, just gotta get used to it.

  11. Moving is tough, but you'll pull through! Funny though, my brother and his girlfriend just moved to San Diego. What a coincidence!

  12. Thanks for the words of encouragement everyone!
    @Bart, both of us are currently unemployed, so we don't have a lot of money to spare. We'll have about 1000 dollars to rent the truck, get gas, get food, and a little extra padding in case of an emergency. As it stands, we'll likely be sleeping in the car for most nights.
    Our roommate here has helped us out a LOT by paying all the bills and taking me out for lunch and stuff. We did the same for him when he first moved in, so it's great that he's returning the favor. Plus, he's buying about $900 worth of our furniture (couches, table, dressers, desk, dishes). I don't think we'd make it out there without his help. My boyfriend's parents have also been so gracious to us by inviting us into their home for as long as we need. Sure, we'll have to share a twin bed, but it is far better than having nowhere.
    My mother also offered to buy us food for the trip. Since she lives in Oklahoma, we'll be passing through and staying a few days.

    I've never had to rely so much on other people. He and I are very used to having our independence, living so far away from our families. I'm so grateful to have these people in my life, and I hope I'll be able to pay them all back soon.

  13. Leaving behind memories is always hard. Just keep in mind the new ones you'll get to make.

  14. New beginnings always come with this strange sort of shock. It can be scary, but at the same time liberating, as long as you take advantage. I get sentimental over things pretty easily, so I know how hard it is. But view this as an opportunity for good, positive change :) Following.